Alright, so I caved... I made some New Year's resolutions. As cheesy and short lived as resolutions usually are, just a couple can't hurt. I came into 2012 in a shitty state of mind. Newly single, a bit drunk, in a room full of couples and alone when the clock struck midnight. It was a fun party, but it's hard to enjoy yourself when you know something doesn't feel quite right. New year's eve wasn't the greatest, but I'm feeling much more inspired on the 2nd of January instead. I just came back from a lovely dinner with two great friends & felt like I needed to write something, so here goes nothing... My 2012 resolutions!
1. Be happy. Whatever I do, wherever I end up at the end of the day. I want to stop dwelling on things that happened years ago and just be happy. You're only 18 once, and I feel like I'm dealing with things most people my age haven't even had nightmares about yet. I want to enjoy my time, and find a way to blossom wherever I go. Might take awhile to figure this one out.
2. Look like barbie. JUST KIDDING! There's no way in hell I'd ever want to look like Barbie, but I would like to get in shape. Yep, just like everyone else for new years. I'm planning on hitting the gym way more often than usual, which means more than once a year. I've got a free pass to the best gym around, what the heck am I waiting for?
3. Ace all my classes Spring semester. I skated by on pretty thin ice last semester. I was a straight-A student for about a month, and it all went downhill once the "omgz first year of college" buzz wore off. This coming semester, I'm not gonna let myself slip. I worked my ass off to get into this university, and I'm sure as hell not going to stop now. I will keep up on all my reading, I will ATTEND ALL my classes, I will make time for homework. It's hard, but in a few years life will get easier.
4. Find my "thing." After wasting countless hours sitting around on park benches and apartment floors, I've somehow lost my spark. I was filling out a job application for Dollar Tree the other day, and it asked for my hobbies and interests. I honestly couldn't think of anything. Not one thing. It made me pretty sad. I used to be a star student, I played tennis, I won medals and awards, I won art contests and read books... Now? I don't have any hobbies. I don't have any interests. All I do is creep around Long Beach doing stupid shit with stupid people. I need to find a passion, something to keep me busy and something to give me a reason to wake up in the morning.
5. Get my life back. You know those stupid girls who distance themselves from the whole entire world once they get a boyfriend? The ones you used to hangout with every single day, and after they meet prince charming you're lucky to get a phone call or text once in awhile? The ones that would drop you in a second if their man comes a' calling? I'm ashamed to admit that I've become one of those girls. When you make someone your everything, you'll be left with nothing once they walk out the door. Unfortunately, I've learned this the hard way. I miss my old life & my old friends, and I'm determined to get them back ASAP!