Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Me, Currently!

I look like shit right now, so here's a photo from a few months back!
     Obsessing over: Okay, this is pretty embarrassing... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!!! I am so obsessed with this show. I've even somehow forced my mom to start watching it, and now she can't get enough! There's just something about watching a bunch of middle aged women act like high schoolers that captures my interest. I'm also obsessed with my new Urban Decay Naked Palette! I'm absolutely in love with it, so many gorgeous colors! One last obsession... Oreo shakes. Those are the best.

     Working on: Myself. I desperately want change! And I want it now! I'm planning on going out for job applications tomorrow or the next day, learning to drive stick shift and get my license, working on my resumé, applying for an internship at a local newspaper, and finishing up this semester with a bang. On top of that, I'm planning a workout schedule that I'll actually stick to for once. I'm also getting my hair done (my one and only Xmas present from mom, so it'd better turn out good!) I want my life to change, and it's not going to happen by sitting around doing nothing. I'm kicking into high gear.

     Thinking about: All the oh-so-productive things I should be doing instead of this. Oh well, life is short!

     Anticipating: The Xmas season! Even though money's extremely (and I mean extremely) tight, I still love the Xmas season. Bundling up in cozy sweaters & scarves, walking around in my badass boots, drinking hot tea lattes... Yeah, you get the picture. I'm also anticipating dinner because I haven't eaten anything all day!

     Listening to: "Old Friend" by Rancid, cars passing by outside my window, and the little "ding" of my Facebook chat thing every so often. 

     Drinking: Nothing?

     Wishing: Fuck wishing, it's bad for the soul. I'm gonna go after everything I want!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

My Unthankful List

     It's Thanksgiving day, and I'm thankful for my friends and fami..... Boring! We all know what everyone is thankful for on this lovely little holiday, but what about those things we aren't so excited about? Here's my list of unthankfulness, just a few things I won't be mentioning at the Thanksgiving table tonight.

     1. Stupid college courses. I'm studying to be a Journalist for christ sake, why the hell am I learning how to calculate the domain and range of the square root of 12.5432? 'Nuff said.
     2. Racism. Throughout the years, I've been so conditioned to turn around whenever someone yells "white girl" that it's become like a second nickname. Dealing with the kind of people I've had to deal with for the past 10 years or so, I'm surprised I haven't become a full blown curb stomping Nazi chick by now. Don't get me wrong... I'm not racist. It's NOT the race of a person that bothers me, it's the TYPE of person they are. I don't care how loud you can yell or how much shit you talk about me in Spanish... You are whats wrong with this place. Get the hell out!
     3. Crazy people on the city bus. (And in Long Beach in general!) So I'm walking through my neighborhood, a relatively calm part of the city full of quiet old people and closet tweakers. Everything's going fine until I run into him again... Him. The 30-something year old homeless black guy that has yellow eyes and talks jibberish to himself as he chases his 2 dollar vodka down with a water bottle and stumbles around the streets all day. It doesn't help that he's the size of an NBA basketball player and easily could lift me over his shoulders and snap me in half. And let's not forget about Grandma Death who sits in front of me on the bus each morning hacking up her lungs and whispering things to herself (probably trying to cast a spell on someone, only God knows). Oh! And the strange man who enthusiastically prayed for me at Jack in the Box and proceeded to run across the street speaking in tongues. Oh no, there's no escaping it here in this charming little city of Long Beach.
     4. Wishful thinking. My wishful thinking. I'm always striving for something. I always have some crazy idea in my head, some thing I have to buy, or some kind of next level I have to reach and THEN I'll finally be happy. I'll be happy once I get accepted into CSULB. (Wrong.) I'll be happy once I get my iPad. (Wrong.) I'll be happy once I gain enough freedom to be able to stay out 'till morning every night. (Wrong- Just more exhausted.) I'll be happy once I get my license. I'll be happy once I go shopping. I'll be happy someday? When I learn how to be, maybe.
     5. Insane Black Friday shoppers. A few friends & I are venturing out into the war zone that is Black Friday shopping tonight. We could care less about the deals, we just go to roam the streets at night, have fun, and maybe pick up a cute top or two. The rest of the shoppers? INSANE. People line the streets and camp out in front of stores for DAYS, just to make sure they're first in line to burst through the doors at opening and play tug-o-war with flat screen TV's. Some shoppers apparently use pepper spray to make sure nobody else gets the items they want. Really, America? Gross!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

10 Ways to Spice Up Your Thanksgiving

     When you think about Thankgiving Day, what comes to mind? A picture perfect family feasting on roasted turkey and warm pumpkin pie in front of the fireplace? Or a stressful day of work which consists of sitting in silence around a dead bird? Whatever Thanksgiving day means at your house, there's always room to make it a little better. (Or more tolerable!) Thanksgiving should be fun, it doesn't have to be all about the cooking and cleaning. Here are a few simple ways to brighten up your November holiday. Stop dreading and start doing!

     1. Cook! Don't leave your grandma stranded in the kitchen! Lending a helping hand is never as awful as it seems. Get your ass in that kitchen and help out, even if it just means skinning potatoes. You'll not only make the cook happy, but you're also gaining experience in the kitchen AND making time pass by monumentally faster. Triple whammy.

     2. Make a playlist. As cheesy as it sounds, music sets the mood. Always. Have you ever tried watching a scary movie on mute? Not so scary anymore, is it? Create a playlist to fill your home with music on the big day. I'm lucky enough to come from a family that sees "Date Rape" by Sublime as appropriate holiday music, but other families might not be as tolerant. (Or as awesome. Cough cough.) Try to pick something everybody can enjoy. Make a mix of upbeat, mellow, happy songs and let it echo throughout the house!

     3. Pick out a movie. After the food has been devoured and the wine bottles are empty, a strange phenomenon called the "food coma" takes place. Plan out a movie or two to watch after dinner with the fam to keep them from passing out on the couches. Just make sure it's not Saw III.

     4. Dress up. There's no need to impress your family and friends with your appearance, but what's wrong with getting a little dolled up on a special day? Nothing! Slip into a warm, cozy, Fall-themed outfit with a simple necklace or scarf. An adorable apron adds to the whole "holiday" look. (Not cooking anything? I won't tell!)

     5. Serve a sinful dessert. Now's your chance to break out that triple-chocolate-hazelnut-caramel pie recipe. (I just made that up, but doesn't it sound amazing?) With everyone trying to cook low-calorie and low-fat meals nowadays, you have an even better excuse to go crazy with dessert. Find a sweet recipe and whip up something yummy. Now you'll really have something to look forward to!

     6. Break the wishbone! Never, ever, ever forget about this simple tradition! Dig that bad boy out of the turkey and find someone to break it with. Whoever gets the bigger side is granted a wish. Why not?

     7. Shut off your smartphone. However tempting it may be, the Thanksgiving dinner table is not the time for status updates. Tinkering around on your phone makes you look bored, rude and uninterested in the table conversation. Leave your phone in another room during your family feast. Twitter notifications can wait, I promise!

     8. Whip up some drinks. Although we all love turkey and stuffing oh-so-much, the drinks served at the Thanksgiving table are often overlooked. Instead of serving the usual wine, milk or orange juice, take it to another level and serve some creative holiday drinks! Try out these amazing recipes for apple pie spiced cider and the sleigh driver. You can't go wrong with cranberry juice either, but try to add a little extra zest. Cranberry juice slushies? Who knows!

     9. Snap tons of photos. Even if Uncle Paul hates having his photo taken with a red hot passion, he will appreciate it later in life. Don't be afraid to become to designated photographer on Thanksgiving Day. Try to get a good snapshot of everyone at least once, and don't forget to take a few pictures of the yummy food!

     10. Just deal with it. For some people, Thanksgiving will always be a miserable holiday no matter how hard they try to make it work. People get caught up in the food, the stress, the cleaning, and the nagging thought of everything being perfect. They forget the real meaning behind it. However your Thanksgiving day goes, just remember not to take it too seriously. Dropped the turkey? Laugh about it. Get snapped at in the kitchen? Brush it off. Get poked fun at during dinner? Shrug your shoulders. Thanksgiving is not about stress. It's about what YOU make it about. So suck it up and have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


I feel stuck. There's no other word I could possibly think of to describe my feelings more than that. Just simply "stuck". I know my current situation may not compare to being a starving child in Ethiopia, but it's my blog and I'll throw my personal life out there if I want to. Right? Well, I guess I had this crazy idea in my mind that once I got into college, once I turned 18, once I got out of the hell hole they call high school, that my life would undergo some big transformation and I'd fly away on the wings of independence... Hahaha, wrong. I'm legally an adult now & can stay out on the town for a week straight if I please, but that's about it. I don't have my own place. I don't have a car. I don't have a job. I don't have my license. Hell, I don't even have my California ID! Independence? It's not quite as easy as it sounds, especially with all the distractions and temptations in this innocent looking city. Note to self: Don't raise future kids in Long Beach. My life was on the fast track to somewhere amazing a few years back, but it's almost like someone derailed the train. I'm pretty sure that person was me. I've gotten caught up. I've gotten too comfortable. I've gotten involved with the wrong people, been in the wrong places, and adopted the wrong state of mind. I'm sick and tired of walking a tight rope. I'm tired of leading five separate lives, I'm tired of putting on a fake face, I'm just tired in general. This is either going to end terribly or end with a lesson learned and a smarter girl. There is no middle ground, but somehow I've managed to walk on it for the past two years. It's becoming increasingly difficult. I don't want to be a slave to a physical thing anymore. I want my life back, my personality back, I want my old friends back, and I want to get moving again. It's time to get out of this strange dark rabbit hole I've somehow fallen into, and time to get started with my life again. Even if it takes me a little longer than everyone else. And even if I mess up along the way. After spending years in between a rock and a hard place... It's about time I got un-stuck.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I Can Get Philosophical Too...

     Wake up. Shower. Get ready. Drive to work. Drive home. Watch TV. Sleep. Repeat. Excuse me for sounding like a typical teenager, but I strongly believe us humans have poisoned our existence to the point where it contains virtually no meaning anymore. We all know our time here on Earth is limited, but do we really understand that? I mean, we waste a LOT of time. We wake up at the crack of dawn each morning to sit in class for 6 hours a day learning how to calculate and debate and punctuate, then after our 12+ years are up we spend the remainder of our lives either sitting in an office building or doing mindless manual labor for most of our days. After our bodies have become worn and weathered, we "retire" and waste away while our children and grandchildren repeat the same cycle. And the spaces in-between? A good amount of us spend our days staring at a screen and pushing buttons on a keyboard.
     Maybe I've been waking up on the wrong side of the bed lately, or maybe I've just been hitting the bong too hard (Haha, just kiddang!) but these days I find myself questioning everything. Why am I here? What are we all doing? What's the point? I attend all my college classes and complete all my work, but it's almost robotic. I go through day-to-day life getting everything done, but I feel drained and bored. I don't like it. I don't see a point to it. I stare at the clock waiting for class to be over and I count the hours 'till I can leave campus. I get home, get in bed before midnight and wake up to do it all over again. It's starting to make me a bit miserable. School, college, work, die. Am I the only one who sees absolutely no point in anything we do?
     In less than 100 years, I'll be long gone. You'll be long gone. Everyone you know and care about will be a thing of the past, a forgotten set of bones. Whether you choose to accept it or not, we are all going to die. You only have about 80 years on this planet if you're lucky, so what the hell are you doing wasting so much time? Why would you want to spend a single second of your time doing anything other than what you absolutely love? I realize that you must work for what you want in life, but we're taking it too far. People aren't working for what they want anymore, they're working to keep a roof over their head and food on the table. They're working to survive. Life should be hard work, but hard work shouldn't be life.
     I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter how hard you work, how educated you are, or how many businesses you own, we're all gonna be carried out in a coffin at the end of the day. Think that's depressing? Then you need a reality check, because it's the truth. Take a few minutes out of your busy day and just think about it. How much time have you wasted? Are you going to read this little rant of mine and forget about it after closing the window, or actually take it to heart? Time is dreadfully short, so get out of the daily grind as fast as you can. Do only what's important to you. Stop caring what people think. If you don't like your job, go back to school and study something you love. Don't stress about dropping your iPhone or missing a TV show. Most of all, remember not to take life too seriously... Nobody gets out alive anyways.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Happy Halloween?

     Halloween has always been a holiday favorite of mine. The cheesy ghost movies, the chilly night air, the creative costumes, the glowing Jack-O-Lanterns, and of course, the candy! Halloween night has always had a special spark to it. This year, however, that spark seemed to be non-existent. After searching for Halloween festivities and parties the entire day to no avail, I just gave up and headed home early to pass out candy to kids with my mom. Then, I did some homework and fell asleep. Before 9PM. This is what Halloween is like for a college student? Really? Absolutely nothing was going on, and we barely had any trick-or-treaters. The streets were cold and empty. This Halloween just didn't do it for me. Maybe it's because Halloween was on a Monday this year, maybe it's because I haven't been feeling too good, or maybe it's just because I live in Long Beach. (Not the best place to go door to door with your small children.) I know I can't be the only one! Was Halloween 2011 an epic fail for anyone else?