Thursday, February 16, 2012

My Final Days of Eighteen-ness

     As of right now, I've got exactly one week left with my 18 year-old self before Mrs. 19 comes barging through the door. Being 18 has been pretty much insane for me. I feel like I'm living a double life most of the time... School, homework, and my mom on one extreme and EVERYTHING else on another extreme. I wish I could post more stories on here and be honest about everything, but I'm afraid the wrong person will read it and either a) report me to LBPD, b) send me to rehab, or c) tell my mother, which would be the worst possible option out of the three. Maybe one day when I'm 60 I'll reveal some of my teenaged shenanigans to y'all. I've had so many "firsts" these past few years. I've stepped way out of my comfort zone, tried new things, discovered new places and discovered so many things about yours truly. I feel like I grew up, gained a TON of self-confidence, and figured out a lot more about who I am. (Well, as much as you can possibly figure out at this age.) I've transformed from a shy goody-two-shoes kid to a 13 year-old deviant who thinks she knows everything, and somehow ended up an intelligent, outgoing, absolutely stunning woman. Just kidding about that last part ;) But seriously, I've come a long way from home. Now, I could start droning on & on about my academic achievements or my college GPA, but the moments that really highlighted my life so far haven't had a thing to do with school or work. Sometimes the best times are when I'm just laying around an empty motel room by myself, tangled in the sheets. Walking down the riverbed underneath the moon and stars. Sitting on street curbs and smoking cigarettes with you. Breaking into apartment complex swimming pools. Walking through the endless maze of Long Beach streets with the afternoon sun shining through the power lines. Cruising through the chilly night air on my bike. Laughing so hard it turns into an ab workout. Graduation made me happy, college makes me happy, my career will no doubt help to fulfill my life. But the very best moments in life are never planned or scheduled. I'll never forget being a naive, impulsive, fast paced 18 year-old girl & I wouldn't have lived the past year any different. Nineteen, bring it on!

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