My Little Secret

     The day I receive my wonderful and much-awaited anchor tattoo is getting closer and closer! I get butterflies in my tummy just thinking about my next little design. Yup, that's right, "next." As in... I have a tattoo already. Gasp!
     I've never mentioned this mysterious tattoo on my blog before, in fear that my mom/brother/anyone-else-who-will-yell-at-me would see it. And possibly yell at me. Since then, however, I've stopped caring what people think. I've grown a lot this past year, and I'm at a point where I feel like I have nothing to hide anymore. I'm nineteen years old. I'm smart. And I can take care of my own body. I've had this pretty little tattoo for almost a year now, might as well be proud of it. So here it is in all it's glory! (Sorry, mom!)

   That's right folks! I've got a quarter-sized tattoo of a sparrow on my right thigh. I got it done last Summer when I was 18. My best friend and I decided to get tattooed one day, out of the blue. We found a tattoo shop that was doing $15 tattoos for their 15th anniversary, drove all the way out to La Mirada (I think!), walked inside and went for it. I didn't even know what I was getting until I went in & chose a tiny little sparrow design from the flash book. Done and done! It was the definition of 18 year-old spontaniety.
     Even though the tattoo meant virtually nothing to me at the time, it's gained plenty of meaning this past year. For example, I chose a sparrow while my best friend Carrie chose a feather. Birds of a feather! Eh? Ehhhh? I didn't realize this one 'till much later. My sparrow has also come to represent being young & wild & free. (I typed that last part in Snoop Dogg's voice, by the way.) Doing what I want no matter what people think. Especially things like going out and getting random tattoos. Makes sense.

    My little sparrow also now marks a specific time period in my life. Although I wouldn't dare go into detail about my personal life on a public website, the people closest to me know that the past year or two has been absolutely insane for me. And I sincerely wish I could write about it. I wish I could spill all my stories, struggles and situations onto this blog. But I can't. The cheery, picture-perfect life I put on display for you guys to see is only the tip of the iceberg. And this iceberg descends into deeper and darker waters than most people will ever know. It gets bad.
    Anyways, I'll stop myself there before I get all poetic and emotional. I went through a weeklong phase where I started panicking about my body being inked forever... FOREVER... Ahhh! But that didn't last long at all. I don't regret this little sparrow guy one bit. I love him. He'll be perched on my skin until the day I die, and so will the memories attached. For better or for worse, but you can't pretend they never happened. It doesn't just signify the bad times I've been faced with... But me being set free from them all. Which is where I'm headed.
   

Tattoo Dreamz

     While attempting to organize my messy room this morning, I stumbled across a fake tattoo sleeve my mom and I bought as a joke a few years back. I tried it on and struck a few poses in the mirror. Flexed my biceps. May or may not have blown a few kisses to myself. Anyways! Even though the sleeve is obviously a joke, I actually really liked what I saw.

     I'm most deff not hardcore enough to get my whole body tatted. Even though I'm 19 years old and have a bad habit of doing whatever the hell I want, I still like to keep at least one foot on the ground. It's hard enough to get a job nowadays without tattoos, so I'm not going to go overboard and ruin my chances. I'd never ink my face, chest, neck, hands, or anywhere else impossible to cover up. But hey, ink my whole back? Roses on my feet? An old school design on my arm? I'm down for that.
     I honestly cannot wait to get tattooed. I've got a teeny-tiny sparrow tat on my hip from last year (My bff got a feather 'cause birds of a feather flock together!) but that's all for now. The big pieces will have to wait. I've already got a couple designs swirling around in my head though, ones that I've been pondering for at least two or three years now. I think it's safe to say that I know what I want, I'm just not going to rush into it like most people do.

Future Tattoo #1

     My Oma (grandmother) is the sweetest, most adorable & most German woman I have ever met. Her thick accent and way of going about day-to-day things is so different than most, and she is a big reminder to me of where I came from. She always supported me no matter what. Clipping articles out of the newspaper for me, sending me writing and drawing competitions to enter, knitting me little house shoes, saving candies for me, and all that other cute stuff grandmas tend to do. Yesterday I found out that she secretly knitted me two baby blankets to be saved for my future child because she knew she wouldn't make it 'till then. She was quiet yet very loud, strict but really funny when everyone else turned around and always thoughtful as could be. There's a nesting doll of hers that I specifically remember playing with whenever we visited. Taking one doll out of the other, out of the other... It now sits in our own house, and it will forever remind me of her. I'm really excited to get a nesting doll tattoo one day, just like Oma's with my own personal style mixed in.

Future Tattoo #2

     This peacock tattoo was something I randomly found on the internet and fell in love with. Sounds stupid, but I need this beautiful image somewhere on my body! I literally printed this out and posted it up in my room so I could see it every single day & know whether I'd get sick of it or not. The verdict? I still absolutely LOVE this design. It would fit perfectly in the center of my upper back, and it would be an awesome reminder to keep on doing my own thing in life. Shake yo tail feathers.

Future Tattoo #3

     A tiny anchor symbol on my right ankle will probably be the tattoo I get done soonest. I am 100% certain about this one, because there is so much meaning behind it. I've pined over this tattoo for years. The anchor symbol represents the seaside city I was born and raised in, it represents keeping myself anchored no matter what, it represents many memories of my childhood on the docks and in the marina with my dad, it represents my love for the ocean, it represents my family and friends, and it represents so much more than that... This is the smallest, yet most meaningful tattoo I will probably ever get.

     I may not become the next Kat Von D or anything, but I'm seriously excited to ink my body. I've always loved the look of tattoos and envied the people who had them. It takes courage to go against the current, and I give them props. I'll get there someday.